Pulling Thread Hypothesis

The value of thread is that it can be pulled, that it promises to hold, that its finish is neat, that it will please, that it will sell. However, so little attention is paid to the thread itself. Value in our capitalistic society is based largely on function and utility. There is an emphasis on credentials, titles, and money. Our current climate distills beauty to dollars for simplicity and exchange. Concerningly, this mode of commerce entrains us to value things in a way that is concrete and functional, but ultimately unfair.

This way of valuation infects how one perceives others. We learn how to quickly discern properties about a person as soon as we meet them. Part of this is biological. Being able to quickly judge whether someone is a threat is what separates life and death. But this instinct leads us to judge too quickly. Often, we extend this judgement beyond threats, to stereotypes and ultimately, to valuations. If one makes a habit of valuing things or people, one is quick to judge people’s worth. We do this at both a conscious and subconscious level, whether we intend to or not. When we see a doctor, we expect a certain type of decorum and worth associated with that individual.

When this method of valuation is reflected onto ourselves, it can quickly become pathological. Valuating ourselves through the lens of capitalism means you only value what you produce. You value the pull, the promise, the finish, whether you please, whether you sell. It rarely ever values the thread. It rarely ever values you. This method of valuation is guaranteed to undervalue nearly every aspect of character.

I became a father in the summer of 2023. When I held my newborn child in my hand, I did not care about the promise of anything. He could be whatever he wanted to be; make the mistakes he needed; love whoever deserved him. More importantly, he was who he was then. A healthy baby boy. And I had him in my arms. He gave me the gift of the moment.

I knew right then that he would likely make the same mistakes that I did up until that very moment. He started fresh and would be so impressionable that he would see his own worth as promise of future returns. He would be consumed by the same capitalistic and utilitarian view we all shared. All because everyone would pull his thread. They would ask him what he wanted to be when he grew up. If he succeeded at something, they would praise him for doing so. If he was useful at work, he would be rewarded. If he made someone happy, he would be loved. All of these gains, conditional.

I knew because up until I held him in my arms, I did the same thing. I viewed myself only through the lens of my aspirations. I chose to become a scientist. I chose to become a physician. And I exceled at those things. But soon I found that my worth was intricately tied to my output. Whether I could produce good scientific studies. Whether I could remember medical facts. My value only came based on how well I could pull my own thread.

Up until the moment I held him, I couldn’t see my own worth beyond the conditional. But once I held him, he gave me more than the gift of the moment, he gave me omnipotence. I could see my thread and those forces that pulled me. Through him, I saw myself.

 That would be a challenge he will have to face on his own. Despite all the pulling by others, he will one day have to see the fiber of his own being. Recognize it. Appreciate it. It is what makes him him. And it is exactly how I saw him the moment he was born. If I attempt to interfere, I might unintentionally add to the pulling forces.

The power of being a parent is not only creating a child, but seeing the child for their true nature when everyone else is blind.